What does judging mean?! How not to judge?! What strategies should we use to avoid hastily judging others? Antoine de Saint-Exupery has a beautiful sentence about judgment that says: It is much more difficult to judge yourself than to judge others. If you can correctly judge yourself, you will be a complete sage.
Whether we are among the people who judge others or not is one of the questions that it is better to ask ourselves instead of someone asking us about it and be fair enough to give ourselves a convincing answer. All of us have done this unconsciously throughout our lives, willingly or unwillingly. Still, we can continue this process by learning strategies and improving our personality at any age.
In the following, we will review some solutions that can prevent us from making unnecessary judgments:
See the positive side of everything (law of attraction)
Let’s consider the positive side of every person we see on the street. For example, when we see a teenager wearing strange clothes, we should tell ourselves how confident he is instead of judging him. Or when someone laughs loudly around us, we tell ourselves that he must be having a good time with his friends.
Say 10 positive things daily
We can train our minds to think positively and see positive things in others. One strategy is to say 10 positive things every day.
Behave in such a way that seeing us makes others happy
A good reputation and popularity among others can be a great incentive not to judge them. We certainly don’t want to be hated by people who humiliate others in the minds of others. Therefore, having a good relationship with others can reduce our judgment.
Let’s use the benefit of the doubt game
We often don’t know what is behind other people’s behavior. When we feel that we are ignoring the reasons for other people’s decisions, we start playing immediately. For example, it is possible that while driving, a person suddenly turns in front of us and is in a hurry to deliver his child. The boss did not give him leave to do this. Probably, that child did not sleep well the night before and is shouting. If all these reasons can be a justification for him turning in front of our car, it can reduce our criticism, complaints, and possible judgments about him.
Avoid creating insecurity and uncertainty in others
People usually criticize others to make them insecure about their work. When this is about to happen, write it down and tell yourself that it is considered a form of jealousy. Then, we should be satisfied with what we have, thankful for it, and avoid comparing ourselves with others.
Let’s not be absent
It seems difficult to stop gossiping completely, but sometimes, it is necessary to change the subject in our conversations with our friends, and someone starts gossiping. Try to move the conversation in another direction by presenting a positive point of view, especially among our group of friends with whom we are in constant contact.
Criticize the person’s actions and not himself
It is common to say that humans are allowed to make mistakes. For this reason, each of us may do something wrong. For this reason, it is better to consider the actions of a person who has done something wrong rather than his character. We should know that that person himself feels guilty about the mistake he made more than anyone else, and it is better not to intensify this process for him.
Imagine that we are saying our thoughts out loud
One solution is to put ourselves in other people’s place and consider his reaction to our criticism. How will that person defend himself? Doing this allows us to get another fresh perspective without opening our mouths.
Remember our unusual behaviors and habits
Always remember that some of our behaviors may not be favorable to others and may cause them to criticize us. What does it matter if your jacket is ugly because we feel so comfortable in it? Let us have the same feeling for others.
Practice concentration
When a negative thought comes to us, we should accept it and ask ourselves why it came to us. Then, we should move our minds in another direction. Separating ourselves from our own thoughts helps us be less judgmental of others.
Aim to empathize with others
As with any bad habit, effort can have the greatest impact. Visualize the image we want others to have of us. Imagine ourselves in such a way that instead of being critical and hasty, we become more lovable and have a mutual and good understanding of others.
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