How to have an attractive and lovable personality
Quentin Hardy, editor of technology articles in the New York Times, believes:
Some people ask themselves, “Is it that I’m boring?” The honest answer is that you probably have an attractive personality, but you can be more attractive by following some tips.
Having an attractive personality
We need to acquire new skills, knowledge, and experiences and learn how to share them with others. Recently, some Quora website users have discussed how to have a more attractive personality based on their personal life experiences. In the following, we review some of the most useful recommendations together.
1- Learn new skills
If we can help others with our skills in different situations, we will become an attractive personality. That’s why Quora user Anthony Lee recommends learning different skills, from website design to sewing.
In this way, we become people who are always referred to, whether our friend wants to start a website for his new business or sew a part of his clothes that has suddenly torn.
2- Be curious
One way to guarantee our unattractiveness is to close our minds to new ideas and opinions. To be more attractive, we must constantly search for new ideas and experiences that change our feelings and thoughts.
Michael Jones suggests becoming a lifelong learner. We should have a game mind, be curious, and learn new things to deepen and broaden our views.
3- Learn how to tell a good story
We may have many experiences and information in our minds, but it is only useful if we can share them with others. For this very reason, Markus believes that we must learn how to be good storytellers:
We should not use anything that comes to our mind in our conversations. We should purposefully shape our thoughts so that they are attractive when we speak them. Imagine our life as a gift we can give others, then wrap it in the most beautiful gift paper possible.
Interestingly, new studies also show that men with better storytelling abilities are more attractive to women. Researchers believe better storytellers can more effectively influence their audience and take control of the conversation.
4- Have three good stories to tell
Knowing how to improvise a story is a really useful skill. But if we get a little nervous while improvising, equip ourselves with pre-prepared stories to break the ice of conversations.
David says about this:
Comedians don’t just talk about “everything” when they’re on stage; they’ve also practiced acting. They always have three different stories in mind that will entertain, inform, or involve the audience.
5- Let’s listen and show our passion
One of the ways to be attractive is to act in such a way that others are attractive to us. Dale Carnegie first proposed this idea in his famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” in 1936:
The number of friends we will find in 2 months by being interested in others is far more than the number of friends we will find in 2 years by being interested in others.
Quentin Hardy, editor of technology articles in the New York Times, believes:
Listen carefully to others and enthusiastically discover their movements and motivations. Few of us are good at this. If we listen to anyone with a positive attitude, they are somehow unique in their life experiences. Working on this technique will also help us grow.
6- Ask good questions
At a party, we don’t need to tell the audience much about ourselves to prove we are attractive; instead, we should engage them in a deep conversation about their daily lives.
Ask calculated questions about them, their interests, and priorities (of course, so that they are not prying into the personal life of the audience). Listen to the answers. Let’s continue the discussion with other calculated questions (of course, again, avoid nosy). By the time the party is over, we’ve become one of the most attractive people they’ve ever seen.
Be bold and ask simple questions. Ivan Ratliff, a journalist who has published articles in publications such as The New Yorker, believes:
There is almost no point in pretending to know something when we don’t. By asking simple questions, we can influence people we are just getting to know.
7- Say what we think
Kat Lee believes that people who do not have an opinion on anything and do not agree or disagree with anything have boring personalities. We feel that we can never have a conversation with them. We should practice speaking our minds on various topics, even if the other person doesn’t like it.
8- Follow our interests
Instead of learning about various topics to be a “knowledgeable” person, pursue areas that interest us. This way, we project an active and dynamic image when we talk about these issues with others.
9- Study a lot
If we have enough time and money to travel around the world, that is great. If we don’t, we can still gain useful information by studying different cultures and important historical periods; books, blogs, and periodicals help us in this way. According to one of the research articles related to the effects of reading stories during the last decade, people who read more fiction books are more successful in empathizing and understanding others.
10- Show your sense of humor
Riley Singh suggests developing a sense of humor in our interactions. Learn to see the half full of life and develop the habit of being happy despite failures.
Research shows that humorous men are more attractive to women because they look smarter.
11- Spend time with attractive people
The people we spend time with affect our personality. If we are with boring, moody, or serious people, we will probably be like them very soon. This is also true when dealing with attractive people. Join groups of like-minded people looking to explore their interests.
12- Pursue one of our interests deeply and seriously
We may like to know everything and gain some knowledge in different fields. Instead, we should try to have a lot of information about a field of work and gain good experience in that field.
April Fonti believes that some attractive people pursue something seriously and passionately for a long time. It does not matter whether these people are successful scientists or ordinary, hardworking people.
13- Take personal development courses
Bill Connolly, a comedian, says:
The art of improvisation can develop our communication skills in everyday life. This art will make us better listeners and focus on what the other person is saying instead of on what we are going to say next in the conversation.
Ken Gregg believes:
Even if we’re shy and don’t like socializing, comedy improv helps us think faster, learn how to be lively again (something many adults have forgotten) and feel more comfortable playing in front of others. This helps us interact better with others.
14- Let’s go out with new groups
Perhaps one reason we don’t feel attractive is that we spend time with people who don’t admire us. In such cases, we must find a group that understands our values and our attractiveness.
Challenge yourself by seeing new people, going out with new groups, and experiencing other people with different opinions and perspectives. We all find attractive people and people who find us attractive.
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